Boundaries

I'm reading a good book called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. I have always been confused about that whole submission thing I learned in church. I was delighted to learn more about it today while reading this book.

Whenever we talk about a wife setting boundaries, someone asks about the biblical idea of submission. What follows is not a full tretise on submission, but some general issues you should keep in mind.
First, both husbands and wives are supposed to practice submission, not just wives. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." (Eph. 5:21). Submission to one another is always the free choice of one party to another. Wives choose to submit to their husbands, and husbands choose to submit to their wives.
Christ's relationship with the church is a picture of how a husband and wife should relate. "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should sumbit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Eph. 5:24-27).
Whenever submission issues are raised, the first question that needs to be asked is, What is the nature of the marital relationship? Is the husband's relationship with his wife similar to Christ's relationship with the church? Does she have free choice, or is she a slave "under the law"? Many marital problems arise when a husband tries to keep his wife "under the law", and she feels all the emotions the Bible promises the law will bring; wrath, guilt, insecurity, and alienation (Rom. 4:15; James 2:10; Gal 5:4).

I just wanted to share this with others who may have been struggling with the same issues I struggled with understanding the whole submission thing. I do hope this helps someone else :=)